Two Pink Lines

I'm hooked. I never understood the whole "blogging thing" until I read a post on Lamaze.org's blog, "Giving Birth With Confidence." I was inspired and strangely felt a connection to the women who posted thier thoughts on birth. Now I find myself checking every day to see if Judith and Charlotte have found or thought something new.

Since that time, I've found two or three other blogs that feed my need for information and communication on birth. I'm completely hooked. I want in. I feel like I have something to say too.

On my birthday (December 27th), my husband and I were sleeping in a hotel room in Sun Valley, Idaho. All night long I had dream after vivid dream of pregnancy tests - different shapes and sizes. I peed on sticks, I peed on cotton balls, I peed on everything in sight. Everything I peed on turned into two pink lines. When I woke up, all I could think of were those two pink lines--and how badly I had to pee. I woke my husband up and said, "I'm going to take the test now." (We had purchased one the night before on our way home from a great little play in Hailey, Idaho, called "Bus Stop.")

I knew there would be two pink lines on that pregnancy test. That little test stick was only a confirmation of what I already knew. I felt it intuitively, even though I didn't want to trust the voice too much. I had been disappointed before. We hadn't even really been trying this month, as we had for the 6 months previous.

I'm so excited. More than anything, I'm excited to go through this process again (this will be our second child) knowing what I know now. You see, I'm a doula and I'm training to be a Lamaze-Certified Childbirth Educator. I've submerged myself in the world of birth for the past 4 or more years and I have learned so much about trusting the birth process, establishing rhythm, ritual, and relaxation, and giving birth confidently. I've researched the issues surrounding home and hospital birth and have decided to have a home birth. Believe it or not, the part I look forward to the most is the actual labor and birth. Call me crazy, or a masochist, or whatever. I just want to know what it's like to give birth in the privacy, comfort, and love of my own home.

Please join me on my journey. I look forward to sharing it with you.

Blessings.